


With Hair Like Starlight

by Sai_Aiza



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angels, Comedy, Demons, Drama, F/M, Falling In Love, Family, Friendship, Gen, Humans, Interpretation, Intrigue, Love, Magic, Multi, Original Characters - Freeform, Original dialogue, Other, Pacts, Soul Bond, Trust, binding, going off script, original scenarios, relationship, the explicit stuff will be on my other pseud
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:13:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26994223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sai_Aiza/pseuds/Sai_Aiza
Summary: Absolutely inspired by my own playthrough and imaginings of Obey Me.As I said in my author bio, this character has been my go-to name character for things like RPGs and JRPGs for years. I took my writing handle from her. So...I'm just the player; she's the actual character.*Office jockey Sai Aiza falls asleep on her sofa after a long day at work to find herself in the assembly hall of the Royal Academy of Diavolo. Surrounded by handsome demons, unknown perils, mysterious sorcerers, and lovable angels, Sai can't say why she was chosen for this exchange program...but it's gotta be better than a soul-crushing day job and a douchebag ex!*Sai's parts are always first person POV. Everyone else will have their parts in third person POV.
Relationships: Asmodeus (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s), Beelzebub (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s), Belphegor (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s), Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s), Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s), Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s), Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s), The Brothers - Relationship, The House of Lamentation Family (non-romantic), The Seven Lords, The Seven Rulers
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	1. PROLOGUE: Sai Aiza

**Author's Note:**

> While totally optional, the prologue gives a good sense into who Sai is as a person.

* * *

PROLOGUE

Sai Aiza

* * *

When five o’clock hit at my soulless office job, I’m pretty sure I left a smoke outline of myself at my desk.

OK. Not _literally._ But it was Friday and if I had to stare at my trio of monitors for one moment of longer, I might actually have cried.

And I mean full-on wailed.

My day had gone like this:

  * My boss did not like my presentation in front of our directors because—and I quote—I “showed off those smarts again” and embarrassed her. The directors loved the presentation and were still talking about setting up follow up meetings to discuss further.
  * My lunch order got screwed up. How anyone could confuse a turkey club for a salmon cake, I’ll never know.  
  

  * And I dealt with no fewer than seven meltdowns from one advisor’s office about a transfer they had loaded wrong on the system (the third time in the last month) and only two of those meltdowns did _not_ involve yelling at me and/or accusing me of sins against God, humanity, and their good business. Because, clearly, as a back office operations monkey, I coded and created a whole system for our clearing firm just to screw with the financial office of Pandergru, Dega, and Keating.  
  
(If I had that sort of power, I would not be here. Believe-you-me.)



So…I’m exhausted.

I waited for my laptop to power down so I could safely unhook it from its dock and stow it away in my messenger bag. (I’d long since given up on keeping a purse on me during the regular 9-5 grind. It was extra weight, one more thing to remember, and one more thing to carry. Pass.)

“Hey! Sai!”

I turned towards the owner of the voice. “Oh hey, Isaiah. What’s up?”

Isaiah held up a hand in greeting. “Bunch of folks are heading to that bar down the road. Wanted to know if you were interested.”

I smiled. Isaiah was a good sort. Kind, non-pressuring, low drama, and very sweet. I’d been working for Prophecy’s Hand Financial Group for a little over a year and Isaiah was one of the few coworkers I called a friend and actually enjoyed hanging with outside of work.

Shaking my head, I popped the laptop into my open messenger bag and snapped the clip in place. “Nah, that’s OK. I’m still clearing stuff out of my place.”

Isaiah winced. “Sorry… I kinda forgot about…ya know…”

I gave a dismissive wave before I realized I’d done it. “No worries. Boyfriends come and go—and idiots who borderline on emotionally abusive can eat the biggest of dicks.”

My joke landed and Isaiah laughed. “Does anything ever get you down?”

“Oh, plenty,” I replied, fishing for a hair tie that I was sure was hiding in one of the many pockets of my bag. Finding none, I abandoned my query and slipped the bag across my chest. Deciding I didn’t like the way it dug against my lacy bra—the only one clean (memo to self: laundry tonight)—I slipped the bag strap to my right shoulder, hitching my thumb beneath the well-worn cushioning.

This had been my bag in college. Since it still held up and didn’t have any holes, I’d continued to use it.

And, well…

I’m the sentimental sort.

Convention buttons were pinned down the bag’s outside zipper flap. One of my cousins had given me a handmade patch with the words _Always look for your polestar_ stitched in silver and a spray of glittering stars on a field of black. And who knew how many miscellaneous scraps of paper, pens, and cough drops I had floating around.

“Sai?”

I returned to the present, Isaiah’s eyes concerned behind his rimless glasses.

“I’m fine,” I answered, double checking that my desk was locked. It was. “Just tired.”

“At least you are human.”

“A little.” I grinned weakly. He frowned. “I promise I’m OK. Honestly. Is Nancy going to meet up with everyone, too?”

“Don’t bring my girlfriend into this to distract me.” Isaiah waggled a finger at me. I made a ‘ _who? me?’_ face, which he didn’t buy. “And yeah. You really should come. You haven’t been by our place since you and dicks-for-brains broke up.”

“Tell you what,” I gave him an affectionate pat on the chest, “let me go home and decide from there. ‘kay?”

Isaiah smiled and, for a moment, he made me really wish I’d had an older brother.

(Or any siblings at all, really.)

“Just take care of yourself. All right?”

“All right.”

As we parted ways, I noticed other people from our department moving by, filtering out the doors of our office. I didn’t think of ants leaving a hive—it reminded me of clapping erasers together to send motes of chalk dust sailing high into the air.

Life had felt that way in general for a while.

I was one of those smart kids who graduated from high school early, graduated from college well, but didn’t pursue a career in STEM and so floated around doing odd jobs—nanny, dog walker, line chef, amusement park mascot (don’t ask…), renaissance faire barker, sex shop worker (again, _don’t ask…_ )—until I finally wound up here at Prophecy’s Hand. The work was necessary processing stuff for people’s retirements and those savvy, risky folks who made their money playing the stock market.

Uninspired but it paid the bills.

I had enough to take care of my basic needs with a little leftover to indulge.

See, I went to college to refine my writing skills. I’ve had success with short story contests but haven’t finished my first novel or completed my screenplay. I have a completed comic script but can’t find an artist that I can A) afford and B) doesn’t suck so C) I’ve been saving up.

All the same, I can’t tell if I’m burned out or if this is psychosomatic or what.

I do, however, have this huge sense of ennui dragging down my heart.

The ex had not helped with any of that.

I stopped beside my car, unsure when I’d managed to walk across the lot to my parking space let alone when I’d pulled out my keys. I beeped the unlock button, clambered inside, relocked the car, shoved the key into the ignition, and just _breathed._

I leaned my head against the headrest and felt tears prickle the corners of my eyes.

“This cannot be everything I am,” I whispered to myself.

_“It isn’t,”_ I heard a voice say. But I couldn’t tell if that was all in my head or not.

The drive home was uneventful. Honestly, I couldn’t tell you what happened. I can’t even tell you when I started the car or left the lot or if I even put the radio on.

I was home before I knew it.

I was grateful that my landlord changed my locks and added in an extra deadbolt without a second thought. I immediately locked the door behind me and kicked my flats off. My apartment was tidy; I wanted to keep it that way. The ex had never understood why I “exploded” out of my shoes as soon as I got home.

I groaned to myself, “Stop thinking about him. You’re going to give yourself a headache,” and pitched my bag unceremoniously onto the floor.

Dropping onto my well-loved sofa, I fished out on my cell phone. I had a text message from Gran, asking if I was eating well and if I’d liked the scarf she bought me for my birthday. My heart warmed. My gran had raised me since I was tiny and was my favorite person in the universe.

> ME: _I’m doing OK. Just keeping on keeping on. Don’t worry._

Her reply was damn near instant. (I swear, she has a better command of technology than _I_ do.)

> GRAN: _I’ll always worry about you. You’re my granddaughter. You’re 22 but you act like you’re so much older._
> 
> ME: _Guess I’m an old soul then._
> 
> GRAN: _Don’t get smart with me._
> 
> ME: _I wouldn’t dream of it._
> 
> GRAN: _Remember to be kind to yourself. It’s fine to feel. It’s healthy, Sai. You can’t just tough it out wordlessly. It’s not healthy._

I smiled, watery. Gran knew me too well.

> ME: _I won’t. Just feeling burn out. Going to have a bit and maybe take a bath…maybe read while I’m in there._
> 
> GRAN: _OK honey. I love you._
> 
> ME: _I love you, too, Gran-Gran._

Fatigue washed over me hard and fast. I pressed the heels of my hands into my closed eyes and breathed, counting slowly to ten. “Maybe I’ll just pass out on the couch,” I mumbled to myself. “God, listen to me. I’m talking to myself. I need some sort of companionship. Maybe I should stop by the shelter tomorrow and get a cat…or maybe a dog…or maybe both…or maybe…”

My lips felt leaden and my body felt equally weighty. So I stretched out across the couch without opening my eyes and felt my whole consciousness drift. I used to hate sleep. Figured it was a waste of time but lately it’d begun to feel like a safe escape. Safer than drinking or smoking or anything else…

_I am so depressed…_

I remember thinking that.

I remember that clearly.

What I don’t remember is how in the hell I ended up here, blinking away sleep and blinding confusion, staring at this smiling man with pale yellow eyes in a red coat saying, “Welcome to the Devildom, Sai.”

What.

The.

Hell?

_Where am I?_


	2. Welcome to the Devildom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now we're getting into the canon story.
> 
> There's a slight nod to Black Butler in here. See if you can find it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do take some liberties with responses, dialogue choices, and the way certain dialogue pieces are written. Enjoy!

* * *

CHAPTER ONE

Welcome to the Devildom

* * *

_Where am I…?_

_I’m in a place that looks like a courtroom. Several men are looking my way._

_The man in the seat of the chief judge starts speaking._

“Welcome to the Devildom, Sai,” said the man with pale yellow eyes. At my lack of comprehension, he frowns slightly—sympathetic, I realize. “…Oh, pardon me. Feeling a bit shocked, are we? Well, that’s understandable. You’ve only just arrived after all. As a human, it will probably take a little while for you to adjust to things here in the Devildom.”

His cheery demeanor surprised me. Still, I held up a hand to forestall any further comment.

Despite my mind whirling, I assessed as fast and as best as I could. The tastefully designed courtroom-like setting with its many tri-tiered candelabras, the men around me dressed in black coats with green shirts beneath, the unmistakable throbbing of my temples, and the man with the pale yellow eyes who I noticed was the only one to don a red coat. Although it was of similar design to the black coats, his was markedly different in its embellishments.

I wet my lips to buy myself an extra moment or two. I could feel all eyes on me. The men whispered none-too-quietly but I didn’t care what they were saying so I ignored them.

“Is this a dream…? No, wait. This is too weird to be a dream.”

The pale-eyed man with the red coat chuckled. “Such a delightfully human response.”

“Uh…thanks. So, um, this is…the Devildom?”

Seemingly delighted even more, the man chuckled, his smile even wider now. “Yes, exactly, the Devildom,” he said as if that explained everything and more. “I see that you catch on quickly. Excellent. I suppose I should start by introducing myself.”

“That would be customary, yes,” I answered, unsure of what else to say. I heard someone snort back a laugh but kept my eyes fixed on this man. (Demon?) He seemed to outrank the rest of the people present.

The levity left the man’s expression. “My name is Diavolo. I am the ruler of all demons, and all here know of me. And someday soon, I will be crowned king of the Devildom.”

_Oh shit. Did I just sass off a crown prince of the underworld? Great job, Sai. GG._

Diavolo continued. “This is the Royal Academy of Diavolo…” ( _Little full of ourselves, aren’t we?_ ) “…though we just call it RAD.” ( _Cute._ )

At Diavolo’s gesturing towards a large open balcony, I gazed down upon the grounds. I had to admit, the sight was breathtaking. City lights twinkled beneath a soot-black sky.

“It’s beautiful,” I managed. Diavolo nodded with approval.

“You’re standing inside the assembly hall, the very heart of RAD,” he explained. “This is where we officers of the student council hold our meetings and conduct our business. I’m the president of said council.”

Rather than give into my innate urge to deliver a smart ass remark, I inclined my head quizzically instead. “So… Why am I here?”

A deeper, more serious voice to my left responded, “I will explain everything to you.” I looked to the owner of the voice. Tall, black haired, unreadable expression with equally unreadable yet gorgeous ruby-and-onyx eyes.

Perking up again, Diavolo clapped his compatriot on the shoulder. “Sai, this is Lucifer. He is a demon and the Avatar of Pride. He’s also the vice president of the student council and my right-hand man…and not just in title, I assure you.”

“Hence why he’s literally standing at your right?”

Diavolo laughed. “Indeed! Beyond that, he’s also my most trusted friend.”

Clearly used to this, Lucifer crossed his arms and shook his head. “Flattery will get you nowhere, Diavolo.” Lucifer turned his eyes to me again and I swear he was analyzing _my soul_. He seemed to know he’d put me into discomfort and smiled ever so slight (what a sadist!) as I fought the urge not to squirm or look away.

Lucifer continued, speaking in measured tones. “Speaking on behalf of the entire student body at this great and storied school of ours…I offer you a most heartfelt welcome, Sai.”

A…school?

“On behalf of the students?” I asked.

Lucifer gave a single, terse nod. “Diavolo believes that we demons should start strengthening our relationship with both the human world and the Celestial Realm.”

 _Is he talking about Heaven, Hell, and Earth? Is that what’s going on?_ I wondered. The possibilities were endless. What in the world had happened?

_Did I slip into a coma on the couch or something? Am I dead?_

_If I am dead, I don’t think I did anything bad enough to warrant going to Hell…except maybe when I told my high school principal, Mr. Kirby, that I was 99% sure he was a pervert when he told me my shirt was too tight and tried to keelhaul me to the office so I broke his thumb?_

Hm…

“As a first step toward this goal, we’ve decided to institute an exchange program,” continued Lucifer. “We’ve sent two of our students to the human world and two to the Celestial Realm.”

“Wait, what?” I interrupted. Lucifer glared at me. “S-sorry…. But you mean to tell me you allowed demons to just gallivant around the mortal world?”

“I believe you’ll find,” replied Lucifer with silken deadliness in his voice, “that demons lurk _everywhere_ in the human world. Quite often, in fact. But,” here he recrossed his arms, “the exchange is equivalent.”

“Oh?”

“We’re welcome four students to our school: Two from your world and two from the Celestial Realm.”

_Angels in the, uh, Devildom and demons in the human world and…_

Lucifer arched a thin eyebrow at me. “So, I take it you’ve probably put two and two together this point, right? **You’ve** been chosen from among the people of the human world to participate in this program of ours. **You are our newest exchange student.** ”

“Me?” The word squeaked out of me before I could stop the idiotic comment from leaving my lips.

“Yes,” replied Lucifer, expression caught somewhere between mild annoyance and mild amusement, “you. Your period of stay is one year. You will have to work on the tasks that you receive from RAD. After one year, you will write a paper about your exchange in the Devildom.”

“I… But I’ve already graduated from college! How did I get picked? Wh-why would you choose me? And what sort of paper are you going to want me to write? I don’t have any of my things and I don’t know if you works cited pages work differently than what I’m used to and—”

Lifting his fingers in a loose yet oddly commanding gesture, Lucifer silenced me. Not literally—but the words clogging my throat quelled. “I’m not telling you to write a doctoral thesis,” he said, arching his eyebrow with far more amusement this time. “You can take it easy.”

“You’re making fun of me…” I grumbled, embarrassed.

Lucifer laughed. “Don’t glare me like that. It’s not like I will abandon you all by yourself here in the Devildom.”

“Better not.”

“You need someone to look after you, and I think that someone should be my brother, Mammon. He’s the Avatar of Greed and…how should I put it?” He paused a moment, thinking. Then, Lucifer shrugged and withdrew what looked like a cell phone from his breast pocket. “Oh well, you’ll understand soon enough. Here—take this device. It’s called a D.D.D. It’s a lot like the cell phones of your world. This will be yours to use as long as you’re here.”

Unsure of what else to say, I managed a soft, “Thank you,” in reply. Gran-Gran had bred manners into me the way weavers make cloth—tightly woven, impossible to find where it started, and to disrupt the finished product would result in some sort of unraveling. Honestly, the fact I hadn’t completely lost my mind surprised even me.

“Now,” Lucifer gestured at me, “go ahead and try calling Mammon with it.”

_Well…what the hey._

“I’m glad everything is in a language I can understand…” I mumbled, flicking my index finger across the touch screen until I found the Contacts list and located my query. _Mammon._ I looked to Lucifer who, again, was studying me with this unwavering, penetrating look. “You know I’m pretty confused right now, don’t you?”

Lucifer smiled indulgently. (He really was a sadist…what a prick!) “Oh, I know,” he replied blithely.

Not bothering to hide my sigh, I tapped Mammon’s name and waited as the phone dialed.

Two rings later and a lazy voice greeted me on the other end. _“Yoooo.”_

“Hi,” I said simply. Had he been forewarned of this call?

 _“Huh? Who the hell are ya?”_ Mammon’s voice was brusque and irritated. _“You ain’t Lucifer.”_

“No, I’m not. I’m a human. My name is—”

 _“Whaaa?”_ interrupted Mammon. _“A human?”_ At his loud, overdramatic sigh, I rolled my gaze towards Lucifer and Diavolo. The underworld crown prince grinned encouragingly at me while Lucifer looked like he couldn’t decide if he was entertained or deliberating punishment... _“Geez,”_ Mammon continued to whine, _“I was gettin’ all chilly here thinkin’ it was Lucifer again. Ya should’ve told me right away.”_

“I…I did. Or I tried to but you—”

_“So, what business does a human got with THE Mammon?”_

Now sufficiently frustrated by this jerk’s lack of basic decorum, I snapped back tersely, “You will be in charge of me from now on.”

Mammon laughed and blew a raspberry into the phone. _“No way! There’s nothin’ in it for me. And whaddya even mean by “be in charge of you”?”_ A beat passed. Then Mammon seemed to catch onto the situation. _“AAH! I get it now! You’re the other human—the new exchange student!”_

I breathed out a sigh of relief. “Yes, I am. It’s a shock to me, too, so—”

_“Yep, so, g’luck with that…and see ya!”_

“Wait!” I shot a helpless look to Lucifer. The fallen angel inclined his head in acknowledgement. He’d clearly been able to hear both sides of the conversation.

_“What now, human?”_

“Uh, well… Lucifer called for you.”

Mammon snorted. _“Pfft, whatever. Ya think THE Mammon would listen to ya just ‘cause you’re tryin’ to scare me with that name?”_

I could see the red in Lucifer’s eyes deepen to a blood-stained ruby. He extended his hand to me calmly and I passed him the phone.

“Mammon,” murmured Lucifer in a voice that promised murder (if he was feeling kind), “you’ve got 10 seconds…9…8…”

Mammon yelped, _“YESSIR!”_ loud enough that both Diavolo and I jumped.

“Good,” answered Lucifer. The line went dead.

I couldn’t tell who ended the call first but, somehow, I suspected it was Mammon.

Lucifer returned the phone to me. He had schooled his expression into one of solemn dignity again. Yet even so, the ire burned obviously in his eyes. _Scary._

Glad it wasn’t directed at me, I managed another, “Thank you,” before locking the D.D.D. and pocketing it.

Crossing his arms, Lucifer’s lips quirked into a grimace. “Sounds like you had a nice chat.”

“Oo… _sarcasm_ ,” I retorted with a slight eyeroll. “You’re _sooooo_ darn funny.”

“Thank you.”

 _What an ass._ Still, I smiled in spite of myself (and my current predicament). Then I thought of Mammon’s attitude and my stomach plummeted. “I would’ve preferred you, Lucifer.”

“I’m sure you would have,” he agreed. He looked to Diavolo. “She looks even more worried now.”

“Well, if you were suddenly brought to a strange place and then got told that an unfamiliar face will now take care of you, you’d certainly feel anxious.” Diavolo rubbed the back of his neck, looking rather sheepish. “However, Mammon isn’t the only one who will be assisting you.”

“Oh? Well…that’s good at least…since I’m still not clear as to what’s going on exactly…”

Diavolo smiled at me but didn’t address my words. “Now then…” He looked to Lucifer. “We still need to introduce our new friend to your brothers, Lucifer. And it’s probably better that you do that instead of me, wouldn’t you say?”

Lucifer sighed. “Yes… As much as I **dread** the idea of doing so, you’re right.”

 _Ouch._ “I can’t tell if that was burn on me or your brothers,” I said.

With a shrug and without a hint of sympathy, Lucifer said, “I assure you that my displeasure comes from having to deal with the buffoonery of my younger brothers than you, Sai. You have yet to try my patience.” He sighed. “I’ve had over a millennia to endure their antics.”

Someone clucked their tongue and I turned towards the sound. Honestly, I’d been so caught up in the moment that I’d lost sight of the other men there.

An impossibly pretty young man—er, demon(?)—was shaking his head. “Oh, come now. **Really?** You should be honored that you get to introduce such a **sweet** and **charming** little brother like me!”

Lucifer looked defeated. “This one here is Asmodeus. He’s the fifth eldest. He is the Avatar of Lust.”

“Wh…” Agog, Asmodeus slapped Lucifer on the arm. “I can’t believe you just totally ignored what I said! And not only that, you referred to me as **this one**. How rude!”

“Hmph,” said another young-looking male demon. Flaxen-haired and green eyed, he looked the very opposite of Lucifer (in stature, too). “At least he didn’t ignore you altogether. How do you think **I** feel?”

Asmodeus didn’t seem to care, and he clung fast to Lucifer’s arm, pouting.

With growing irritation and plain distaste, Lucifer began this introduction. “That one there is Satan, the fourth eldest of us. At first glance, he may seem like a responsible demon with a good head on his shoulders, but looks can be deceiving.”

“Aha,” laughed Satan without an ounce of mirth, “so **I’m** that one, am I? Nice to meet you, Sai. I am Satan, the Avatar of Wrath.”

Since Satan had actually addressed me directly me, I extended a hand to him and we shook. While shorter than Lucifer, he was half a head taller than me. (I am most definitely not tall.) He even managed a warm expression, so at odds with his earlier visage. “So…the Avatar of Wrath?” I asked.

“It basically sums up what he’s about,” answered Lucifer, peeling Asmodeus off his arm. “He may flash you a pretty smile like that, but you had better be careful because it is all an act.”

“If you continue saying such nonsense, you’ll just scare Sai.” Satan turned his face towards me, the warm expression still in place…but an unmistakably dark aura emanated from Satan now. “Don’t take him too seriously, Sai. Lucifer enjoys speaking ill of his brothers. He is the Avatar of Pride, after all.”

Lucifer sighed. “Are you done?” Without waiting for a reply, he continued and gestured towards an orange haired male. “Now, the one there with the very grumpy look on his face is Beelzebub. He’s the sixth oldest.”

Not caring in the least for the current situation, Beelzebub simply said, “Lucifer, I’m hungry.” As if I wasn’t there.

I nearly laughed at the absurdity of this moment. What in the fuck was going on here? I mean, really…

“That’s too bad,” said Lucifer. “Now, behave yourself.”

Abashed, Beelzebub looked at me. His stomach growled. Loudly. “I’m Beelzebub, the Avatar of Gluttony.”

“Noted.”

Satisfied, Lucifer nodded once and turned his attention back to me. “There are seven of us brothers in all, and I am the eldest. Mammon, the second oldest of us, will be here soon. My other brothers aren’t here at the moment, but…well,” Lucifer’s expression became cagey and for the first time he actually averted his eyes from mine, “we can get to them later. All in good time.”

Diavolo sensed whatever discomfiture Lucifer was feeling and stepped in. “During your stay in the Devildom, the seven brothers will lend you their strength.”

“Lend me their strength?” I echoed. “Why?”

“To keep you safe, you are to stay with them at the House of Lamentation.”

“To keep me safe?”

Having recovered himself, Lucifer fielded this question. “While most agree with Diavolo, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t vulgar demons out there who wouldn’t harm you. If anything were to happen to you, it would be our responsibility. And I won’t betray Diavolo’s expectations. So, I will do everything in my power to make sure you survive your stay down here in the Devildom. Although we will all be living together, you should still have the means to reach us at any given time.”

“Hence the D.D.D.” I said.

Lucifer looked pleased. “Yes. All of our phone numbers are already in there as well as the messaging app that is commonly used down here in the Devildom.”

In a flash, Diavolo had withdrawn his own D.D.D., a very shiny gold model, and began texting. “I’ll go ahead and send you your first message!”

“Isn’t that nice, Sai?” quipped Satan. “Now you’ll be friends with the future king of the Devildom!”

The message popped up and I clicked it.

> DIAVOLO: _This is my account._
> 
> DIAVOLO: _Feel free to send me a message at any time._

A sticker of an angry three-legged crow in a red hoodie greeted me. I blinked in surprise. Did I do something to make Diavolo angry already?

Glancing over, I could see he was furiously texting again, face flush with embarrassment.

> DIAVOLO: _Sorry! Sorry!_
> 
> DIAVOLO: _I haven’t gotten quite used to this yet._
> 
> DIAVOLO: _You see, Lucifer is the only demon who sends me messages…_

This time, a sticker of a happy demon in a yellow circle beamed up at me with what looked like a little soot sprite.

> DIAVOLO: _That’s the one I wanted to send you!_

I smiled. I liked this earnest to-be king.

I selected a cheery sticker of the same demon with **THANKS.** printed above its head. Diavolo responded with a delighted **WHOO!** sticker and I couldn’t suppress my giggle. Diavolo and I shared a grin.

I realized then that I wasn’t wearing any shoes.

“Oh Lord,” I groaned and Lucifer chuckled.

“I don’t think that’s going to help you much down here. My Father, as you may have noticed as a denizen of the human world, has terrible hearing. He’s not very good at hearing people’s cries, is he?”

That icy smile sent shivers spidering through my veins. “I can’t say I hadn’t noticed,” I replied.

“You’ll have more of your things waiting for you at home in the House of Lamentation,” assured Lucifer. I went to ask how they were doing that—and what about the life I was already living, and what about my gran—when a pulse of black and warmth enveloped my feet. As sudden as the magic had been cast, it disappeared and I found myself wearing a pair of incredibly soft black ankle boots.

“I… How…” I gaped.

Lucifer laughed. “Magic. Perhaps you’ll prove to have a talent and learn something during your stay.” Then the door of assembly hall slammed open and a disheveled male bounded into the room. “Well…it seems the idiot has arrived as well.”

This time, I simply groaned.

If the apparent dangers of the Devildom didn’t kill me down here, the stress-induced headaches certainly might.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definitely a long one...and very exciting for me! Like I said before, this is a bit of catharsis for me. I'm having a blast. My beta reader/husband is also enjoying this (bless his heart).


	3. Good Luck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Sai gets ditched by Mammon, a TSL lesson, and Levi's pact-plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I took liberties with some of the dialogue and gestures. I hope you enjoy it! I do include Levi's TSL explanation with few liberties. There are some gestures and responses from Sai. But we all know that sometimes Levi is long-winded so if you choose to skip to the other stuff, no one will blame you.

* * *

CHAPTER TWO

Good Luck

* * *

The bickering started almost instantly the moment Mammon walked in. I rolled my eyes to the other demons there, all of which shrugged or sighed with impatience. Diavolo, as before, simply grinned. As if this were simply one big game to observe. So very odd.

Despite Mammon’s very, uh, strongly worded protests, Lucifer continued his explanation and re-emphasized that I would be writing a paper at the end of my time here at RAD.

Honestly?

I still wasn’t sure what to make of this. _Any_ of this.

I had a life already! I couldn’t just…up and abandon it…

…could I?

“It’s easy as pie, don’t you think?” said Lucifer with an inclination of his head.

Mammon slapped his hands down on one of the wooden tables. “Hey! I wanna make one thing clear right now: Don’t blame me if someone gets eaten, ‘cause it aint my fault.” He pointed a finger at me sharply. “Got it, human?”

“Lucifer,” whined Beelzebub softly, “I’m hungry.”

Undaunted, Lucifer replied, “That’s too bad. Now, behave yourself.”

I felt Diavolo’s gaze and turned to face him. He looked so hopeful. Unsure of what else to say, I managed, “This is all real, isn’t it? This is really happening.”

Diavolo nodded. ”It is.”

“Then…” I sucked in a breath, released it, and squared my shoulders. “Let’s make it a year to remember!” I smiled and Diavolo beamed. _Is he really that worried? Is there more at stake riding on this than I realize…?_

Mammon gave me a disgusted look. “You…sure are a positive one.” He shrugged, palms up. “Welp, I won’t stop ya from havin’ some fun.” I caught the muttered, “Weirdo,” under Mammon’s breath but decided to let that slide.

“Sai,” said Diavolo, my attention returning to the crowned prince, “from now on, you will be living in the House of Lamentation with Lucifer and his six younger brothers.”

_What are their names?_ I wondered to myself. _Belial? Abaddon? Azazel?_

Despite all my questions, I somehow knew I wasn’t going to get a lot of answers. All I could do was stay calm and roll with the punches—see whatever was going to happen and react as best I could.

That didn’t quell all my curiosity, of course.

“Why do this?” I asked.

“Do what?”

“Have some sort of school exchange? It’s remarkably…simple. Idealistic.”

Diavolo chuckled and slid fanned fingers through his dark copper hair. “I suppose it is, isn’t it? But it’s a fair question. And one I am happy to answer.” He strode a few paces away from me and the demon brothers present, and stood on the precipice between the assembly hall and the balcony. He studied the glittering expanse of city beyond the balcony for a moment. When he spoke again, his words were soft yet deliberate. “Humans… Angels… Demons… I imagine a universe where each accepts the other. Where we are brought together as friends. This is my dream, and I’m asking you to be the foundation for it, Sai.”

I tilted my head, fascinated. “It sounds like a lovely dream,” I whispered, unwilling to break the spell of stillness, to break this unexpected serenity.

“One year, Sai.” Diavolo turned to me then, his smile wistful. “That’s all I ask of you. One year.”

I thought of my life up until now. The feelings that had welled up in me, drowned me from the inside, the endless crash of hopelessness and frustration and emptiness all surged back to me, here and now, in this present, with all the force of point-blank lightning. Really…what did I have to lose. “All right, Diavolo. One year.”

The demon prince nodded. “Glad to hear it. Good luck, Sai.”

> **~*~**

The trek to the House of Lamentation with Mammon was remarkably…

Boring.

He made exactly no effort to explain anything to me. He pretty much dragged me down cobblestone streets and brickwork walkways without comment except to piss and moan. The Avatar of Greed was a whiny baby, wasn’t he?

But silence is golden and Mammon’s endless bitching certainly earned him that for the moment.

As we moved down a tree strewn path and came upon the black wrought iron fence, Mammon’s complaints became unignorable. (At least they were full, complete thoughts now.)

“Ugh! I don’t believe this. I don’t believe this! Of all the rotten luck… Why should **I** have to look after some human? It’s insulting, that’s what it is! That rotten bastard… Does he really think he can scare me into doin’ whatever he wants?” Mammon whirled on his heel and I nearly walked into him. “Just so we’re clear…it’s not like I can’t say no to Lucifer, okay?!” He huffed and turned back. “I only agreed to babysit you because, um… Well, you know, because…ah…”

“I’m waiting.”

Mammon scowled at me. Apparently my sarcasm was neither wanted nor appreciated. “Anyway, **it doesn’t matter!** Just don’t go thinking that I’m scared of Lucifer or anything! Because I’m **not**!”

I shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t really care.”

The shock on his face was priceless. Mammon sough for words, mouth working noiselessly like a fish trying to take in water. “WHAT?!” he finally spluttered. “Wh-what?! Oh, now you’re REALLY in for it…!” His glare didn’t scare me so I yawned at him. I really was tired. It’d been a long week. Sniffing, Mammon shoved his hands into his pockets. “…Although, come to think of it, I’m surprised you’ve got the guts to talk to me like that. You’re not scared? I mean, I’m a **demon**. You do get that, right?”

“Yeah. But I kind of don’t care. I’m here and that’s apparently the end of it.” I shrugged. “I don’t think Diavolo or Lucifer would be too happy if anything happened to me—especially by your hand.”

“…Hmph. You’re one strange human, I’ll give ya that.” He waved a hand. “Ugh, whatever. Let’s move on. We’re almost home, anyway.”

Mammon approached the gate and held up a hand. Something glowed in one of his rings and then he was able to unlock the gate.

“What was that?” I asked.

“What was what?”

“How did you open the gate?”

“Oh. That? Just a basic unlock charm tied to one of my rings. Pretty impressive to a regular human like you, huh?” Mammon smirked at me, checking to see how full of adoration I _clearly_ was. (I was not.)

I shrugged. It was kind of neat, but I wasn’t going to give him that satisfaction. My eardrums had yet to recover from his earlier whining. “It’s certainly one way to keep solicitors out.”

We wound our way up along the brickwork walk. I wanted to admire the fauna and flora but Mammon didn’t slow down and I couldn’t afford to be left behind. When we reached the front door, he produced a key—a very normal-looking skeleton key—and unlocked the house. “This is the House of Lamentation. It’s one of the dorms here at RAD.”

We entered into a large foyer. Twin staircases curved to meet at the second floor landing. Alongside the zenith of the stairs’ rise stood two gargoyles which faced each other ominously. Paintings lined the walls and more candelabra burned with soft light. Regardless, it appeared the house did have electricity. What an odd place.

“It’s beautiful,” I said, still taking in the sights.

Mammon shrugged at me. “It’s one of the dorms here at RAD. Well, actually, it’s not JUST one of the dorms. It’s the dorm reserved for student council members.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Lucifer, Asmo, and the others take every chance they can get to insult me. Callin’ me scum, sayin’ that I’m a money-grubber and stuff…” Shoving his hands on his hips, Mammon shook his head emphatically with annoyance. “…but I’m an officer of the student council—same as them! The elite of the elite, the **top** of the RAD social pyramid.”

_This guy?_ I thought. _Are you freakin’ serious?_

“In other words,” continued Mammon, “I’m a big shot. A REAL big shot. Like, even regular big shots are impressed by what a big shot I am.”

“Your vocabulary astounds me,” I quipped dryly.

He didn’t hear me. “So don’t go thinkin’ that I’m just some ordinary demon. I’m nothing like those other peons walking the halls here.”

I arched my eyebrows. “You know I have no means of comparison yet, right?”

“Tch. Even more reason for you to understand how things work, human.”

Getting called “human” was getting pretty old…

“My name is Sai—”

Again, with determined confidence gifted only to the particularly stupid, Mammon pressed on. “By the way, Diavolo is even MORE of a big shot. He’s so important that he’s got his own castle. That’s why he doesn’t live here with us.”

_Since he’s the prince, I’m not surprised._

“…Anyway,” Mammon waved a hand dismissively at me, as if he could not be bothered to waste any more of his precious words or time on me; I was relieved, “the long and short of it is that us seven brothers all live here together. Now, it’s time I show you to your room.”

Nodding, I began to follow Mammon when something caught my eye.

_There’s a bulletin board over there. One of the flyers on it is advertising an opening for a part-time position… I’ll probably still need to get a job. I don’t even know what currency they use here—_

“HEY!” bellowed Mammon and I whirled to face him, not even attempting to hide my irritation. “Don’t just stand there with your jaw open. Hurry up, or I’m gonna leave ya behind. If there’s something you wanna ask me, you’d best do it now.”

_Yeah,_ I thought _, why are you such an asshole?_ Instead, I settled for safer ground. “I want to know about job listing.” I pointed to bulletin board for emphasis.

Mammon craned his head and squinted. “Huh? If you’re curious about that, you can **read** the flyer on the bulletin board, can’t ya? Go take a look at it yourself later if you want.”

_I wonder how long it would take to get a license to exorcism demons. A few months? A couple years?_

Before I could shoot back another scathing comments—I fully intended on comparing Mammon to particularly thick-headed collection of toadstools—he popped off with something (gasp!) helpful. “You got your D.D.D. now, right? It’s got an app called “:D JOBS” in there. If you wanna find a job, look there.”

“That’s actually helpful, thanks.”

Eyeing me for a moment, Mammon finally settled on a nod. I smiled to myself; looked like he couldn’t get a bead on me. Good.

“Now,” said Mammon, resuming our ascent of the stairs, “I’m gonna give you a piece of advice, so listen up. If you wanna survive even a day here in the Devildom, you’d better listen REAL close to what I’m about to say.” He actually looked remarkably serious so I gestured for him to go on. “If it ever looks like a demon is about to attack you…run away. Either that or die. Those are your options.”

Again, I arched my eyebrows, incredulous. “Uh… I suppose that’s _decent_ advice. But demons aren’t like wild animals so—”

“How about this?” interrupted another male voice from the second floor landing. “I vote for YOU to die, Mammon.”

Mammon jolted with alarm. “D’ah…! Levi…”

I peeked around Mammon to see yet another young-looking male demon in the RAD uniform. Much like Mammon’s, the uniform was out of dress code. Unlike Mammon’s, however, which had a fashionable _savoir-faire_ , Levi’s uniform was absolutely unkempt.

Behind his fringe of inky blue hair, ambry eyes burned. Levi looked _pissed._

Ever the lionhearted, Mammon’s eyes flicked around nervously. “…Uh, l-listen up, human! This here is Leviathan, the Avatar of Envy. He’s the third oldest of us brothers. Since his name is sorta hard to say, you can just call him Levi! Okay then, let’s move on—”

Levi grit his teeth. “Mammon,” he seethed quietly, “give me back my money. Then go crawl in a hole and die.”

Mammon nervously rubbed the back of his neck. Sweat dappled his tanned skin. He looked surprisingly afraid. If he hadn’t been such an absolute jack-hole this whole time, I might’ve felt bad for him. Maybe. “Come on,” wheedled Mammon, “I told you I’d get it to you! I just need more time... And you still want me to die even after I give it back? That’s real harsh, Levi! Uncool. Just uuuuncoooool.”

I leaned my hip against the railing, giving the brothers space. Despite the crackling energy I could feel, this was too amusing to be scary.

“You need **a little** more time? How much more?”

“A **little** more, okay?! A little more means a little more!”

“You’ve been telling me that for the last 200 years, Mammon.”

“Hey! No…! It hasn’t been 200 years! It’s been 260! Get it right, Levi!”

I didn’t mean to but I facepalmed. **HARD.**

“Mammon, you absolute ham sandwich…” I muttered.

Fingers curling into fists, Levi shook his head. “Unbelievable. Seriously, Mammon, you’re—”

“I’m what? **Scum?** Is that what you’re gonna say?”

“—you’re a **lowlife** and a **waste of space.** ”

_Yeouch! Critical hit._

“Hey! Come on, that’s even worse!”

Levi rolled his eyes. “Whatever… Just give me back my money. I need it to buy the Blue-ray box set of _Journey to the Devildom: The Tale of a Little She-Devil and Her Reluctant Companion._ The initial round of copies includes promotional ticket to a live event as a special bonus.” Levi giggled, which surprised. Was this guy a full-on otaku or just a big ol’ weeb?

Unsympathetic, Mammon shrugged. “I’ve got NO IDEA what you’re even talking about, Levi, but it doesn’t matter! Because I don’t even have any money to give you. How am I supposed to give back money I don’t have, huh?!

Whatever mirth Levi had evaporated. “So then, you’re tell me you **refuse** to pay me back?”

“…What?” Mammon rolled his shoulders, keeping his eyes on Levi’s. “You looking for a fight, is that it?”

Carefully, I stepped around Mammon to stand on the stairs. If they were going to throw down, the last place I wanted to be was trapped on some stairs. I kept my mouth shut and my eyes opened. How would a throwdown between demon brothers go?

When Mammon spoke again, he addressed me. His gaze stayed fixed on Levi. “Listen, human. You remember my advice from before about what to do when demons attack?”

“Yeah…?”

“Well, you’re about to witness that for real, so…” Faster than a flash, Mammon slid behind me and began hauling ass down the hall. “…time of your to die, because if it’s either you or me, it ain’t gonna be me!” His feet thundered as he ran.

“Holy heck, he’s a coward,” I said to no one in particular.

Levi, also surprised, stood bemuse for a moment. “Hold on, I thought your advice was to either run away or—” He stopped abruptly, realizing that Mammon had fled the staircase. “…Wh… DAMMIT, MAMMON! That ass…he ran off…!”

I looked to Levi. “Somehow, I am one hundred percent unsurprised.”

“Do you realize what just happened?” asked Levi.

“That…Mammon used me as a distraction to get away from you,” I replied. “Yeah,” I crossed my arms over my chest, “I noticed.”

“Maybe it’d be more accurate to say that Mammon used you as **a sacrifice.** ”

I arched an eyebrow (I had a feeling I’d be doing that a LOT). “Well, since I’m an exchange student, you brothers can’t actually hurt me so…”

Levi shook his head. “I’ll admit that Mammon is one of the scummiest scumbags you’ll ever meet—a total lowlife—but still, that was pretty dumb of you letting him use you like that.”

D.D.D. in hand, I’d begun searching _how to perform an exorcism._ I also made a mental note to check on how to do wards and things like that. (I have never taken to being called or implied as stupid well. **Never.** )

Levi sighed. “This is EXACTLY why humans are—” He stopped suddenly. Then a wicked little smile crept across Levi’s face. “That’s it. **Humans.** ”

“Uh…”

“Suddenly, I have a _great_ idea.” Levi’s smile was huge. “Listen, are you free right now? Of course you are. You’ve gotta be, right? You just got here after all.”

“I…”

“You know what,” Levi waved a hand before shoving it into his pants pocket. “It doesn’t matter. Either way, **you’re coming with me.** ”

My eyes rolled skyward. What the hell _was_ this day?

Despite Levi’s early threats to Mammon—and he apparently being the third eldest of the seven brothers—I held up a finger to him when I felt my D.D.D. vibrate. “One second, all right? I’ll come with you but my D.D.D. is going off and I don’t know many people here yet so I wanna see who’s messaging me.”

Surprised, Levi managed to mumbled, “Uh, o-okay… That sounds fair.”

“Thanks.” I opened up the D.D.D. and (surprise, surprise!) had gotten a message from Mammon.

> MAMMON: _Heya, I suddenly remembered I have some business I gotta take care of. So, if ya need something, just ask Levi._

Mammon then sent a cheeky-looking red demon in a black hoody.

> MAMMON: _Oh, and just to be sure… Don’t go around tellin’ stuff to Lucifer, ya got that?_

Then Mammon sent a firm looking version of the three-legged, three-eyed crow (a _karasu_ if I recalled correctly). Ah, a warning.

I sent back the karasu sticker that gave a firm shake of **NO!!** as my response.

> ME: _Yeah, I don’t think so._

Not appreciating my non-compliance. Mammon sent a sticker of a growling wolf (maybe werewolf?) with blue flames and **Grrrrr** written in red.

Regardless, I took that as a win.

_I_ _swear to God,_ I thought, _he can kiss the whitest part of my ass._

I repocketed my D.D.D., feeling grateful at morning-Sai’s foresight to wear the pair of yoga pants that had pockets _and_ totally looked like slacks.

_Thanks, morning-Sai. Your dedication to comfort and functionality is serving us well already._

“All right,” I said to Levi, “lead on.” Nodding, Levi lead me down the left hall, got to a door, and glanced around surreptitiously before opening the door. “Worried about something?” I asked as he repeated the nervous look around when we were inside (presumably) his room. Everything was blue-toned and oceanic. It was remarkably peaceful.

Levi did not speak until he’d actually closed the door. “…You want to know why I looked around to see if anyone was watching before I closed the door?”

“Well, yeah. It’s kind of odd.”

“Why do you THINK I did it?! Isn’t it obvious?!”

“It isn’t,” I replied dryly.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Levi shook his head. “Imagine what would happen if someone saw me inviting **you** into my room! A **human** who doesn’t even look like **an otaku** , but **a normie**! You know what people would say, right?!”

“I’m really more of a casual than a normie,” I answered. “But I really don’t care too much what people think of me. I don’t like to give my anxiety ammunition. Why? Are you worried that people might gossip?”

At that, Levi covered his mouth with a loose fist. HIs cheeks had turned a deep pink. “Of…of c-c-c…of c-c-course not! Th…th-that’s crazy! There’s room in my heart for only one person, and she’s animated! I’ll always stay faithful to my dear, sweet Ruri-chan, always!”

_Awkward…_ “I feel like we’re talking at cross-purposes here.”

“Why would people gossip?!” continued Levi. “I mean, me and some non-otaku—some normie?! And not only that, a THREE-DIMENSIONAL one from the real world?! It’s insane, that’s what it is!”

“Sure…yeah… _That’s_ what’s insane.” Searching for some common ground or something I might recognize in this super otaku’s room, I saw Levi’s bookcase. It was full of thick, hardcover books as large as encyclopedias. Impressive.

I read the spine of one of the ponderous tomes. _The Tale of the Seven Lords: The Lord of Shadow Awakens._

“What is it, human? What are you looking at?”

_So is it a fifty-fifty split on demons who will use my name versus those who are just going to call me “human”?_

I pointed to the book. “I was just admiring your bookshelf and was looking at the name of that book,” I answered honestly.

Faster than a hungry dog on a meaty bone, Levi’s emotions swung back again to eager and curious. If he and most of the other demons hadn’t been driving me so crazy already, and if I wasn’t already so confused, I would’ve been charmed by the childlike joy in his expression.

“Wait, that looks like… _The Tale of the Seven Lords._ Are you a fan of that, too?”

“It’s been on my to-read list for a while.”

“And you haven’t read it yet?” Levi’s eyes went huge. “How could reading TSL _not_ be a priority for you?! You’re a human! This should be _required literature!_ You’ve been wasting your life!” Pointing to a chair and muttering, “Sit, sit, sit,” at me, and refusing to continue until I did so, Levi said, “I’m going to do you a favor and teach you about TSL. Make sure you pay attention!”

“Is there going to be a test?” I joked.

“There might be!” answered Levi excitedly. “To ensure that it really stuck with you! But, let’s start our lesson. _The Tale of the Seven Lords,_ otherwise known as TSL, is a series of fantasy novels written by Christopher Peugeot. It’s a heroic epic spanning 138 volumes, and it’s the most widely-read fantasy series in the world. There are even theatric versions, and animated series, and feature films, too. And it’s been translated into a total of 182 different languages. The 1990s theatric version was an utter disaster, owing to the fact that they added several characters that were NOT present in the original manuscript. At the time, I was like, “This producer totally needs to crawl in a hole and die!” But then the 2015 version came out, and it was AMAZING! Better than amazing! If you ask me, it showed that needlessly cramming a female lead in there alongside Henry was a bad idea. That’s not what he needs. What he NEEDS is a friend who really understands him, and the 2015 version proved that.”

I nodded in understanding. “So they tried to force a romance that wasn’t there?”

“They did!” Levi threw his hands up in the air at the ignominy of it all. “And it was **so _bad._** Also, the most vital element of the story is that each of the seven lords is so unique. They’re all so interesting in their own peculiar way. That’s what makes TSL so great! The lords are all brothers…the oldest is called the Lord of Corruption. He doesn’t come across as being so bad at first, but he’s always plotting and planning in secret. The second oldest is the Lord of Fools, a scumbag who’ll do anything for money. The third oldest is called the Lord of Shadow, a brooding recluse.”

_This is starting to sound familiar,_ I thought, comparing these Lords to the seven brothers I’d either met or heard about. _Did this writer know them?_

“The fourth oldest is known as the Lord of Masks,” continued Levi. “He masquerades as a high-status, upstanding member of society, but underneath it all, he’s an inhumane monster. The fifth oldest, the Lord of Lechery, only ever thinks of sex. The sixth oldest is the Lord of Flies, and he only ever thinks of food. Then there’s the seventh oldest, called the Lord of Emptiness. He’s weird…you never know what’s running through his head!”

Levi had set to pacing about his room, gesticulating wildly. I couldn’t help but smile. He had so much energy. It reminded me a kid I used to babysit in high school who was _legit_ obsessed with _Naruto_ and becoming a ninja. Same energy, 100%.

“So, who do you like best?” I inquired of the otaku-demon. “Who’s your favorite character?”

Stopping to pick up the tome I’d glanced at earlier, Levi ran his fingers over gold-edged pages. “Well,” he began again, “it seems like most people like the oldest lord, the Lord of Corruption, the best. Everyone always talks about how great he is.” Levi shook his head. “But not me. I like the third lord way more. Of course, I like Henry, too. He’s the protagonist. He’s almost as great the third lord. The second lord is total scum, a hopeless degenerate that leads a life of extravagance and indulgence. He’s always causing trouble for the third lord.”

“Sounds like a royal d-bag,” I agreed.

Levi nodded. “Totally. See, the second lord—he’s got these magical pigs that can give birth to solid gold piglets, and he treasures them above all else. So, Henry goes and talks to the pigs, and using his wit and powers of persuasion, he convinces them to leave with him. Then he leads _every last one of them_ away…and presents them to the third lord as a gift!

_Grand theft oinker._ I managed to keep my thought (and giggles) in check.

“Wow…” breathed Levi dreamily. “I mean, they’re SUCH GOOD FRIENDS you can almost feel it! It’s enough to make you cry! Oh, and then there’s the really awesome moment when the two of them realize they both like and respect each other, and they high-five! I just LOVE that part, you know? I wish I could have a moment like that.” Here, Levi paused.

I waited for him to go on and gestured for him to do, showing Levi that I was listening. He looked somewhat surprised but nodded and resumed.

“…I wish I could be like the third lord. I may be a recluse like him, but we’re totally different, because he got an amazing friend like Henry.” Levi pointed to a large bubbling tank on one of the walls. “Check it out. See that goldfish in the tank there?”

“I do.”

“He’s actually named Henry. I love TSL so much that I couldn’t help naming him after the main character. But I can’t really high-five a goldfish, can I? The original author of TSL, Christopher Peugeot, he’s actually a human, you know?”

“I didn’t,” I admitted. “I never thought of angels and demons outside of the Bible or fiction. Never thought they actually actively interacted with the world.”

“Well, he is—and sometimes we do,” replied Levi. “But see… That’s why I’m so jealous of you guys—of humans. Humans are so lucky. You’ve got subscription services that let you watch your favorite anime anytime, you can go to Akihabara whenever you want…”

I wanted to interrupt that I lived in the middle of the United States and had never had the chance to visit Japan, let alone Akihabara. But I let slide. Obvious Levi needed to air these feelings. Why he felt comfortable to say this in front of me, I didn’t know. But if I could give some mental peace to an awkward demon-guy, then I would do so.

Levi sighed, gently setting the book down beside the keyboard of his impressive gaming rig. “Why do only you guys get to experience all the good stuff? I mean, humans’ whole concept of pleasure originally came from us demon, you know? We gave it to you. So, why can’t we have a little of that back now, huh? I mean, I want to be able to go to a Japanese maid café, too. I want to hear the maids welcome me as if I’m the master of the house, to have them draw ketchup hearts on my fried rice omelet, to experience the magic of it all. I want to cosplay as Henry, and then go stand in the center of Akihabara, or maybe under that one building in Tokyo that’s shaped like upside-down triangles. And once I’m there, I want to perform Henry’s super-powerful signature finishing move for all to see and say the incantation that goes with it. I want to shout it at the top of my lungs!” Levi paused again, eyes dark with consideration. “…Actually, you know what? I want to BE Henry!”

I sucked on my teeth. There was no good way to put this to him but I did my best. Speaking as gently as I could, I said, “I’m afraid that’s not really possible…at least not all of it…”

“I know that,” sighed Levi. “But still, I’m free to fantasize about whatever I want, aren’t I?!” He coughed a few times then and grabbed a soda from his desk. After a long swig, he shook his head. “Guess I did a little too much talking. My throat hurts.”

“Are you all right?”

“Yeah.”

“Thank you for telling me all about TSL.”

Levi looked genuinely surprised at my gratitude and blushed again. “Y-you’re…you’re welcome.” He shook his head. “A-anyway…enough about all this. I’m starting to feel depressed. Besides, I didn’t bring you here to tell you about TSL. I don’t think there’s any harm in just coming out and saying what you already know is true: Mammon is a complete and utter scumbag. It’s very important that you understand this. So I’ll say it one more time. Mammon is a **hopeless, worthless scumbag.** ”

“G-got it…”

_Not like I’d gotten an impression otherwise…._

“I lent that scumbag money,” continued Levi, “and now I want him to pay me back. But being the scumbag that he is, he won’t do it. I wish I could force him to, but despite what a rotten waste of space he is, Mammon’s still the second oldest. As the third oldest, no matter how hard I try, I don’t stand a chance against him.”

I leaned forward slightly, admiring the cute _Dragon Quest_ slime plushy hiding beneath Levi’s desk. “Sounds like you need to outfox him. But it also sounds like there’s more history there. How did you and Mammon first become enemies?”

Levi dropped into his computer chair and spun around a few times. “Well, it’s a long story, but sure, I’ll tell you, human.” He stopped the spinning abruptly, planting both feet firmly onto the floor and facing me. “Once, a long time ago, Mammon won a prize in a convenience store promotional campaign. If you bought something, they let you reach into a box and pull out a piece of paper that told you what you’d won. And the prize Mammon won was a Seraphina figurine, something I would’ve died to have. But, despite the fact that Mammon had no interest in it at all, he refused to give it to me.”

“What? Why?”

“Why?” He gave a wry laugh without a trace of amusement. “Because I wanted it…that’s it. That was the only reason. I wanted it, and he said no just to torment me.”

“Wow, what a bastard.”

“Right! So, I got to thinking… Mammon’s going to end up treating Seraphina like some random piece of junk. That much is a given. I can maybe handle it if he at least leaves her in her original packaging, but what if he actually takes her out of the box?! He might just do it! And if he does, he’ll get dust on her, won’t he?! I decided I had to save Seraphina, so I snuck into Mammon’s room in the middle of the night. And what do you think I saw there?!”

I shook my head. Thinking of the Lord of Fools from TSL, I answered, “A pigsty?”

“You’re not gonna believe it. He didn’t open the box…. No, it’s way worse than that. He hadn’t even taken it out of the plastic convenience store bag, which he’d tossed on the floor of his room. THE FLOOR! He actually left SERAPHINA on the FLOOR! The Queen of the High Elves Herself!”

I shook my head sympathetically. “Well, that’s just rude.”

“It’s unbelievable! Sure, she seems cold and prideful at first, but once you get her alone, you find out that she really wants affection, she just doesn’t know how to admit it, and it’s sooooo cute! Yet Mammon just threw her on the floor! And I don’t think he’d cleaned it in three months. It was covered in junk. Old empty cup ramen containers, tissues with dried snot and…and booger in them.”

“Ew…”

“Stuff was strewn everywhere. And there she was, lying there amongst all of that! On the FLOOR! Tossed aside like so much junk! How COULD he?! It was so awful that I just lost it and flew into a rage. I walked straight over to Mammon, who was lying on his bed asleep. Then I raised my leg up into the air over him and brought my heel down onto his stomach as hard as I could.”

“Uh, WHAT—”

“But the next thing I knew, he wasn’t there on the bed anymore. It happened so fast. He moved with incredible speed. He grabbed me, picked me up, and slammed me headfirst onto the floor in a pile driver .And the worst part is that he was STARK NAKED.”

At this, I feel like I should be given some sort of medal for my unbreakable poker face. _Stark naked Mammon pile drives Levi into the floor…_ I imagined it and the image was as awful as it was hilarious. But I didn’t crack a smile.

Levi shook his head, sighing. “…As I started to lose consciousness, I remember thinking…why does he have to sleep in the nude? He could at least have put on some underwear. I don’t remember anything else after that…”

“I…wow.” I wasn’t sure what else to say and was left blowing at my cheeks in an expression of _dude-that-sucks._

“You’ve seen just how fast he is yourself now,” said Levi. “No one aside from Lucifer or Beel has that kind of speed.”

I made note of the additional short name. _Levi for Leviathan. Asmo for Asmodeus. Beel for Beelzebub._ I filed that info away for later use. “So…what did you have in mind? What do you want me to do?”

A tiny, evil smile formed on Levi’s mouth. He leaned towards me again, conspiratorially this time. “Well…what if a **human** made a **pact** with Mammon, and bound him to their service…then he’d have to do whatever that human told him to do. Which mean that if you make a pact with Mammon and then ordered him to give me back my money…he wouldn’t have any choice but to do it.” Levi giggled. “It’s such a simple solution!”

Shaking my head, I held up a hand to refocus Levi’s attention. “I’ve only heard about things like demon pacts in movies and Catholic school. Could you explain to me what a pact is exactly?”

“Not too different from what you’ve seen in movies. The demon lends his strength to a human to make their wish come true in exchange for their soul.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t want to give up my soul.”

This time, Levi waved a hand at me, chuckling. “That isn’t always necessary. It depends on what’s in the pact. But, well, you need to give SOMETHING to the demon to make it worth the exchange, so it’s pretty much inevitable. If you don’t want to give up your soul, then I’ll tell you how you can negotiate with Mammon.”

Levi really was like a little kid. A precocious, dangerous kid, but a kid all the same.

I began to unwind the single braid I wore in my hair with the intention of redoing it—how or when I’d started wearing my hair like this, I honestly couldn’t tell you. Again, I bemoaned not having a proper hair tie. “Because you want me to do something for you, right?”

“I’m sure it would also be super useful to have Mammon as your servant. Despite how awful he is, he’s still a powerful demon.”

I inclined my head slightly, still re-braiding. “True enough.”

He took another drink of soda and held the bottle loosely betwixt his fingers. “I bet you feel worried, being dragged down here to the Devildom and all.”

“It was sudden, I’ll grant you that.”

“So, it wouldn’t end up being a bad deal for you, either! After all, you don’t actually seem to have a choice in being an exchange student, right?”

I sighed. “Not as far as I’m aware, no.”

Levi grinned. “Okay then! So…?” He looked at me expectantly.

I considered. He really did have a good point. I came here flat-footed and literally shoeless. I was going to be wholly dependent on the brothers here—and the one who was supposed to be keeping his eye on me had ditched me at the first sign of potential trouble.

I am a lot of things, and I’m generally an empathetic, kind person.

However…

I do not suffer _fools_ lightly.

And I do NOT appreciate being treated like someone’s disposable tissue.

“All right, Levi,” I replied. “How would I go about doing this?”

Brightening, Levi sat up straighter. “I take this mean you think this plan of mine could work, right? **Excellent.** You may be a human but still…you show promise! Regardless, if I’m being honest, I don’t really care what **you** think.”

_Ouch._ I actually winced at that. I’d been enjoying the camaraderie we’d been building…

“What’s important is that **I** have a plan, and I’m going to explain it to you now. So, shut up and listen.”

Anger flashed through me. But Levi had brought up a good point: I was powerless and possessed no recourse should things end up pear-shaped.

Annoyed, I gave a jerky wave of my hand for him to talk.

“If you just walk up to Mammon and ask him to make a pact with you, he’ll never agree. So, you need some leverage… **a bargaining chip.** You’re going to offer him something in return… Something he wants so badly that he’d do ANYTHING to get it.”

_Sai Aiza,_ I thought to myself as I sought another lock of hair and set to braiding, _how did you even get into this situation?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was hot off the press (er, keyboard). But I hope you enjoyed it! I'm starting grad school on Monday so I may be a little slower on updating. Probably not too much since I'm only taking one class right now.


	4. The Shape of Her Circumstances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Sai has a momentary respite (and dinner with the brothers). Off-script and purely original character canon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My work schedule was unexpectedly busy when I had to cover for someone who took three days off without advanced warning. *insert quiet sobbing here* 
> 
> Totally off-script chapter. 
> 
> Forewarning: Thar be cussing.

* * *

CHAPTER THREE

The Shape of Her Circumstances

* * *

“Ten…nine…eight…seven…” I counted down, forcing my breathing to slow. “…six…five…four…three…” Someone knocked on the door.

“Sai!” called Mammon irritably from the other side of the door. “Dinner’s ready! Get yer ass downstairs.” I heard his footsteps retreat.

“…two…one…” Sucking in a deep breath, I held it, then slowly released it. “OK. I think I’m almost ready to people—er, demon—again.”

Logically, I knew I was talking to no one save the soft silence of the room—my appointed bedroom located off the House of Lamentation’s kitchen—and yet speaking the words aloud made me feel better. Gave them credence somehow, power and weight.

After my parents’ accident when I was six, I’d entered therapy. (Gran refused to let mental wounds fester without appropriate treatment.) This had been one of the coping mechanisms Dr. Cho-Lawler had taught me and it never failed to help me reorient and center myself in stressful situations.

I’m sure you can imagine why I’m stressed right now.

From the kitchen, Mammon continued to grouse. “Can she not hear us moving around out here?”

“Maybe she just doesn’t like your ugly, stupid face, Mammon?” trilled Asmodeus.

“Shaddap.”

I took another breath. Held it. Released it. Repeated it.

My bedroom had the main accoutrements of my apartment: Laptop, cell phone, my beloved bag, a couple purses, headphones, some books, some manga, four pillows, the star-patterned comforter with its matching sheets, a selection of my collectibles and knickknacks, three bath towels, the floral-printed makeup bag Gran gave me for my nineteenth birthday, a toiletry kit with (I think) everything from my shower, a bottle of rose scented lotion (a Secret Santa gift from Chels at work last year), and a majority of my clothes and shoes.

While appreciative to “have my things about me” (as Mary Kate Danaher from _The Quiet Man_ would have put it), I was somewhat unnerved at the idea of someone skulking about my apartment and raiding my panty drawer.

I hadn’t had a chance to unpack after my conversation with Levi. He’d basically given me the outline of his plan and unceremoniously booted me out of his room. I didn’t know which room was supposed to be mine until Satan actually showed me. When I told him I was surprised to have so much of my own stuff here, Satan had shrugged and said, “Honestly, it’s typical Lucifer behavior not to consider someone’s personal boundaries.”

Thinking this might have been more of a _royal_ decision but sensing Satan’s unmistakable loathing of the eldest brother, I kept my mouth firmly shut.

I considered turning on my cell phone and texting Gran but stopped myself. What if the phone didn’t work? What if the phone _did_ work? How was anyone going to explain my sudden disappearance from work come Monday? And what about work and everything else I already had going on?

Another knock on my door. One much gentler. “May I come in?” asked Lucifer.

“Y-yeah.”

The door opened and Lucifer stepped in, all quiet, poised grace as I’d seen before. “Are you all right? You look peaked.”

I sat on the bed, albeit maintaining eye contact with the eldest brother. “It’s a lot to take in all at once.”

“I would imagine,” he agreed. “Coming to the Devildom was a sudden shock for me as well.”

The look in his eyes shone as much warning as it did sorrow. I left the question unasked. “I still have an apartment in the Human World, you know. What about my job and my apartment? What about my family and friends?”

Lucifer chuckled. “You can still reach who you need with your own cell phone. The way Levi has things arranged in this house, you can—what’s the term?—hop connections as necessary.”

“Ah. I see… But what about the job?”

“You’re on a leave of absence. I handled the details earlier today myself.”

“You what?!” I leapt to my feet and nearly stumbled into him. I caught myself on the bedside table.

A dark frown creased Lucifer’s fine features. “Is that a problem?”

“I just…” I sighed and lamely finished, “…don’t know what you said…”

“I told them that you had been offered an internship with the esteemed Daemonium Corporation and would return upon completion,” answered Lucifer simply.

“And they…believed you?”

A sharp, wicked smirk cut across Lucifer’s lips. “It didn’t matter if they believed me, Sai. Humans have remarkably weak wills. All I had to do was tell them what I wanted them to believe was the truth…and they believed it.”

I gaped. I didn’t mean to but I couldn’t help it. “You just…” I snapped my fingers. “Like _that_?”

Amused, Lucifer lifted his own hand in mimicry. “Yes, Sai. Like that.” And he snapped. And the sound seemed thunderous in the small, low-lit room.

Through sheer will alone did I manage not to shiver. “I’d tell you that you were a scary individual, Lucifer, but I’m sure you’re well aware of that by now.”

“Quite. Now then,” he gestured towards the door, “let us have dinner. We try to eat together every night and every morning. It would be a shame to waste such a lovely dining hall otherwise.”

“That’s remarkably domestic of you.”

Lucifer arched his eyebrows. He actually appeared perplexed. “Domestic? How so?”

“In the human world, you often hear the value of eating dinner together with your family. That it helps people better connect and that it helps kids feel less frustration by being able to talk and express their thoughts and feelings on things with the rest of the family unit, especially parents or guardians.”

“Hm. I feel like I’d heard that somewhere before. Must have stuck with me. Either way,” Lucifer extended his hand to me, carmine and onyx eyes on mine, “come.”

I did.

* * *

Dinner proved to be a lively affair. Despite the variety in appearances and personalities, the brothers were unmistakably _male._

They talked at cross purposes.

They talked over each other.

They talked **_at_** each other.

There were mini-fights that broke out over food or what someone did or did not say.

My ears started to ring.

_At least the food’s good…_

“Sai,” said Lucifer as Asmodeus and Mammon bickered about something near one end of the table, “you don’t have to help with the cleanup tonight. You will be expected to pitch in. But you’ve already had a long day, haven’t you?”

I sighed. “Yeah… I’d already worked a full day before I ended up here.” I poked gently at a vegetable that had the taste of a radish/mustard green hybrid. “I’m…really tired.”

He nodded in response. “Then, if you’d like, you can wash up.”

Asmodeus’s ears pricked up at that. In a flash, he’d abandoned his quibbling with Mammon and fixed his luminous eyes on me. His smile was as suggestive as it was warm. “Oh! Oh, oh, oh! I’d _love_ to show our sweet little human _my_ private bathroom. It is, by far, the most luxurious one in the whole house.”

Lucifer clicked his tongue. Irritation creased his features. “No. Mammon will show Sai to the main bathroom.”

Pushing back from my seat, I arranged my utensils, plates, and bowls in a neat, easy-to-carry stack. “That’s all right. I got a chance to poke around the house earlier. The main one is here on the main floor near the music room, right?”

This time, Satan smiled at me. “I’m impressed. You haven’t been here more than a few hours and already you have a better memory of things than Mammon does.”

“Oi!” said Mammon, glaring at Satan murderously. “Ya fuckin’ bastard…”

Levi rolled his eyes. “I’m not sure that’s much of a compliment, Satan. Mammon couldn’t outthink a dead sea slug.”

“OI!” repeated Mammon.

“It’s true,” trilled Asmodeus. He laced his fingers neatly together and rested his chin on them, elbows propped on the table. “You really are dumber than dumb, Mammon.”

“Stay the hell out of this, Asmo.”

“Ooo! Such an angry little kitten!” Asmo teased.

Satan snorted with distaste. “Please don’t associate Mammon of all things with the noble cat.”

I shook my head and carried my dishes to the kitchen, letting their voices fade behind me. I rinsed off everything I’d used.

The kitchen had a medieval feel: Stonework, low light, heavy wood and brick countertops, herbs and spices hanging from wrought iron bars and rings, and a large cauldron. Of course, more modern conveniences had been added (such as electric lights). The large stove sported six gas burners and a griddle. Pots and pans hung on the walls. Every spare inch was covered in some sort of cabinet or useful décor. The fridge stood huge and looming—it looked bigger than any sort of commercial version I’d ever seen. Beside it was the entry to a large walk-in pantry.

Stopping by my room—the door located near the fridge and pantry—I grabbed some suitable nightclothes, a towel, my toiletries, and slippers. I waved vaguely at the six seated at the table and padded my way towards the bathroom.

 _Six brothers,_ I thought as I walked. _Six brothers… But aren’t there supposed to be seven? Where’s the seventh one? They didn’t mention him at all._

I shook my head. “Leave it alone, Sai,” I murmured to myself. “Just take the shower and relax as best you can. There’s a ton more you’re going to have to think on…but it can wait until tomorrow.”

With that, I entered the main bathroom and set about preparing for my shower.

Warmth seeped into my skin.

Within moments, the familiar scent of my shampoo and body wash were comforting. I brushed my teeth and washed my face, thankful for this familiar ritual. For a moment or two, I could pretend that I was in a fancy hotel instead of some alternate realm called the Devildom with six—or seven?—demon brothers…

I fumbled with the crystal knob for the hot water and turned it higher whilst simultaneously turning down the cold. If I came out pink, so be it.

 _Besides,_ I sat down in the tub, letting the powerful spray pelt my neck and shoulders, slowly releasing built up tension, _this is one place where I can relax in peace and quiet…_

My hair long pale hair clung to my skin. I could feel it heavy on my back. Sticking to my cheeks.

Cupping my hands, I ran the steaming water over my face again and again.

I couldn’t tell you when the tears started, but I was thankful they came silently. No sadness, no fear. Just the irreplaceable sensation of pure relief.

I closed my eyes and breathed in the steam.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in— _one, two, three four—_ and breathe out…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate the support I've received already! You folks rock!
> 
> You can follow me on Twitter at Sai_Aiza_Writes. 
> 
> If you like what I do, you can also shout me a coffee on, well, Ko-fi. www.ko-fi.com/sai_aiza
> 
> Hoping to have the next chapter ready soon!

**Author's Note:**

> Truth time: Part of the reason I'm getting back into fanfiction is that working on getting my own original works published is tough...and it's easy to lose motivation. It's easy to start seeing something I love (writing) only as a job. Suddenly, I'm no longer enjoying what I'm doing, I'm no longer taking risks.
> 
> I hope this alleviates that.
> 
> And I hope you, dear reader, enjoy this, too. <3


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